Flying lessons...

"I want to start a new blog."

"Then do it," he says.  Just like that.  Simple and straight forward.

It really is just that easy, isn't it?  Wow.  I never realized how utterly simple life can be if I just relax and let it flow. 

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In the not too distant past, I came to the realization that there were a matching set of bones growing from my back.  I wasn't sure where they came from, but the malformation was unmistakable and once they began to break skin, they weren't about to retreat back beneath the surface.  It took some soul searching, some tears and an unfathomable amount of courage that I never believed I possessed but I did it.  I sprouted wings and I began to fly.

I'm still learning this new skill and I'm sure it will take me a lifetime to master but at least I started my lessons.  That is, as I've heard, the hardest part of the journey.  Those first timid steps along the path when you are not sure whether you should walk or run or just stand very, very still.  When you can't remember if you are supposed to go left or right to keep in line with what you have been taught and told throughout your life.  When you are alone and waiting for someone to reach out and lend their hand, their shoulder, their heart before you realize that what you really need to be doing is making your own path and holding your own hand.  Yeah, I'm past that part.

Hahahaha...yeah right.

I'm not past any part.  I am hovering above the path with my newfound wings fluttering in the breeze hoping that I can withstand the next big wind that gets blown directly into my face.  I am scared of the darkness that surrounds me and the uncertainty that abounds in this neck of the woods but I am determined to continue down the path on my way to whatever comes after this life that we are now living.  I am determined to let the past be the past and the future be this amazing adventure of smiles and laughter, tears and fears, trials and tribulations...and fun.  Definitely have to have the fun. 

I am determined to live my life as me.  That is my only goal.  I just want to be me. 

And who is that?

I am the conglomeration of a lot of things.  I am a separated woman beginning the legal proceedings of a mostly amicable divorce, the mother of two young children, and the girlfriend of a man who reminds me daily that life can be as simple or as complicated as I let it be.

So when that man tells me to "do it", I am going to stand up and take notice.  I will consider why I can or cannot accomplish a task and what I have to do to benefit from it while still being true to the being that I have been neglecting for some time.  The me that has remained hidden for quite some time but is now out and flying and ready to see the world and to experience it's beauty.  Yes, when he tells me that I can do something, I know that I can do it.  Because he has faith in me and that, my friends, is a beautiful thing. 

So I am off and flying.  Watch your heads for falling obscenities and random acts of bitchiness.  They are likely to occur here often for that is who I am and that is who I plan to celebrate being for the rest of my days here on theis planet.